Why Calcium is Important

I have this habit of falling down...A LOT... This habit is exaggerated when I have had a drink or two but definitely needs no help. In recounting these moments, it is clear to me why I need to continue taking calcium supplements. Let's see...I fell off a bar, fell off a curb, slipped and fell in a muddy puddle, slipped on my heel and fell smack on my butt in the middle of a fancy restaurant, got my ring caught on my heel when peeling someone's cigarette butt off my shoe and down I went, fell over our coffee table moments after falling off my shoe (and breaking said shoe) in the backyard. Let's not forget the time I sat in a chair, with a skirt on, and one leg of the chair fell through a grate thereby causing me to tip backwards with legs flailing in the air, luckily right in front of a table full of guys. That was a proud moment, particularly because it happened before I even took one sip of an alcoholic beverage.
In my defense, I routinely walk into doorways, swipe corners of cubicles, furniture, and walls with my hips, and mangle my toes by unintentionally kicking furniture, doors, and walls...all perfectly normal sights over the course of a day. Oh and there was the time I was getting dressed one morning, putting my pants on (after I had already donned my shoes) and got my foot caught inside my pant-leg and, you guessed it, fell down in the closet, which reminds me of when I was younger, I slipped in the shower after soaping the bottoms of my feet...
I seriously need to up my calcium intake because I surely have a bumpy road ahead of me in my elderly years. I foresee several fractures...get the wheelchair ready honey!!!